But I Can't
by ashl0800
Summary: The reactions to JT's death from Emma, Manny, Sean, Toby and Liberty. Possible tear-jerking, I don't know :P I was having serious feelings towards him and needed to get this out of my system. Review please?
1. Emma Nelson

_"His aorta was punctured.. we couldn't repair the damage. I'm sorry, your brother's gone."_

What... No.

_"W-what? You're joking."_

Please? Please be joking.

_"I'm sorry," then you walk away._

I haven't even accepted it and suddenly we're in a group hug. All that's going through my head was memory, after memory.

_"Got something to tell us, Em?"_ I told you to shut up then. I shouldn't have. You were kidding, you didn't even know. I didn't appreciate your humour enough, JT, I'm sorry.

_"Good girls gone soo bad,"_ I didn't reply to you then. I should have, because it would have been one more chance to talk to you before you were taken from us.

I pinned you against a locker. I punched you many times

_"JT and Liberty sitting in tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,"_ If we'd only known, that a few years down the road that would be true.

There's so much I wish I could have told you, JT. Like how you shouldn't have put up with Manny's shit in tenth grade, how I liked you when we were seven, how your the only person who made me smile when I was fighting with Sean.

How if you didn't marry Liberty, you were an idiot.

Now I never can. I can wish that I did, but I can't ever do it. Not for real. Because of a STUPID school vivalry gone terribly wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen, not now and NOT YOU. Never you, JT Yorke, the person with so much live in him. JT, the person I'd been best friends with since I was four but was stupid and let us grow apart in high school. I should have fought for our friendship.

But I can't.


	2. Manny Santos

_"His aorta was punctured.. we couldn't repair the damage. I'm sorry, your brother's gone."_

This is my fault.

_"W-what? You're joking."_

She's not, I know that already.

_"I'm sorry." She walks away and it's over. JT's gone, everything is over._

So why are people still living? Why is the world still going on? Why am I crying? There's nothing to cry about, there's nothing left. JT's dead, live can't just go on.

Not when it's my fault.

That stupid FUCKING party! Why did I have to invite those Lakehurst kids? It was help Liberty get a boyfriend.. dumbass move, Manuela... I should have known the only person for Liberty was JT.

And now, because of me, she'll never have him.

_"I can change! I'm sorry!"_ You call after me. You can't change, JT, but I won't let you. You're exactly who you're supposed to be. Oh my God. That stupid penis pump..

_"Heeyyyy Manny."_ You played with those stupid glasses, and I ignored it. Emma needed help. But I wish I could have forced a laugh, that's all you ever wanted.

And going out with Sully... Emma was right then, too. I broke your heart. JT, I'm so sorry. I was a stupid kid, and I wish I could take back everything. Including this.

But I can't.


	3. Sean Cameron

_"His aorta was punctured.. we couldn't repair the damage. I'm sorry, your brother's gone."_

What?

_"W-what? You're joking."_

No way..

_"I'm sorry." She walks away_

I want to yell, bring her back. Instead I settle for punching the wall. I don't even feel the pain. Not that pain anyway. The only pain is your death.

Beside me, Manny is nearly hysterical I'd almost forgotten that she was your ex. Toby and Emma both seem to be in shock. Liberty to coming towards us.. shit, poor Liberty.

Then we're hugging, I'm partitaclly holding Manny on her feet, she's crying so hard.

I know I should probably be thinking about everything we'd been through JT, but I'm not. We hadn't been through that much together. Except the whole ecstasty thing.

At the makes me smile, even though it's wrong of me to do that right now. You're dead, and I'm still laughing at what an dumbass you are.

_"Dude... this is ecstasy!" _Oh, I'm going to killing whoever did this to you, JT.

The world needs more people like you, not less. Never less. I want to tell you that, and a lot of other things, like how much those moments of friendship meant to me- even if their aren't many.

But I can't.


	4. Toby Issacs

_"His aorta was punctured.. we couldn't repair the damage. I'm sorry, your brother's gone."_

Bullshit

_"W-what? You're joking."_

Please, be joking. I can't loose him.

_"I'm sorry."_ And the nurse is gone... you're gone. This is so wrong, JT, so wrong.

You should be here right now, holding Manny while she cries. You should be here, teasing Emma for her loss of words for the first time in her life. You should be here, commenting on how violent Sean is when he's punching the wall. You should be here, to tell Liberty what happened so that I don't have to.

"Liberty's pregnant," Probably one of the hardest things he had to go through together.

"I introduce you to... the human glow worm." As if I let you talk me into getting those condoms in the first place.

"What? You're jealous that I'm on a team and you're just the mascot?" Best mascot Degrassi will ever have, JT. I'm sure of it.

"Look, Tobes, you can cry but I'm not giving you a hug." How about now JT? That hug would be perfect right now. You're the only person who can give it to me and make this better.

You can't though. You're gone.. all because you can't step down from a battle. You retard, why would even accept the war against Lakehurst? Look what it's caused, Degrassi will never be same. Because of you and because of them.

"That's real nice, JT." I used that against you, defending Rick, right before he tried to kill Jimmy and Emma. I used more than that, because you weren't always the best guy in the world. That's what made you so great. I want to tell you that so bad.

But I can't.


	5. Liberty van Zandt

I'm running as fast as I can, to Toby and everyone. Manny is crying so hard, I can't understand why. You'll be okay, I already know that. You're JT Yorke. Nothing can stop you.

"We all know you'll be famous someday," I told you that in seventh grade. It's still true, I know it is. You'll be famous, JT, and I'll be right there beside you.

"Hey, Liberty girlfriend!" Pretending to be gay was one of your lowest points, JT, it's true. But one day I would be your girlfriend. And I will be again, I know it. We're meant to be JT. Forever.

"My stomach hurts a little," mine did too. A lot... after getting what I'd wanted for four years. I knew you were the one when you finally kissed me back.

"Let's keep this baby," it's okay JT. We weren't ready for a baby, but we'll have one. I know we will. Because you're going to be okay, right?

"Toby, what happened? Is he going to be okay?" I've reached them and they're all looking at me, horrifed and shocked. Except Manny, who's crying too hard.

"Did you try and kill yourself JT?" That's how I knew you'd be okay. Because if you could survive trying to kill yourself then nobody else could kill you.

"Liberty, I'm not gay, okay?" I think, deep down, I already knew that.

"I have a girlfriend... who I really, really like." That's okay, JT, we'll get past that. Because we're forever.

"Toby?" I asked again, not understanding why he wouldn't just tell me that you'll be fine. Instead, he hugs me and soon Manny, Emma and Sean join.

Then it sinks in slowly... we're not going to be together, we'll never get our own baby, you'll never call me "girlfriend" again.

Because you're gone, JT... you're gone and I want you bring you back...

But I can't.


End file.
